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Woman Smiling
Woman Smiling

Relationship Advice – Avoid This Mistake!

by ALYSSA_JOHNSON

To have meaningful relationships we need to feel safe enough to be our true, authentic self.  This is why one of the best relationship advice ideas I can offer you is to beware of judging others or assuming someone’s judging you.

They tend to go hand in hand.  If you’re a rather judgmental person, it’s only natural for you to assume others are the same way.  If you’re critiquing everyone else’s hair, outfits and relationships – then your perspective will be that everyone else must be doing that too.

So the first relationship advice tip I have to offer you is to become more aware of how often you judge others.  It’s not good on any level.  It’s just the old comparison game.  We judge others as a way to prove to ourselves that we’re better than someone else.  This lasts only as long as it takes for another person to walk by and we realize we don’t measure up to them.

But this month, we’re taking a hard look at assumptions, so I want to focus specifically on the problems with assuming someone’s judging you.  Who likes to have people not like them?  Nobody!  We spend so much time and energy, wearing a pretty “mask” in order to hide who we really are so we’ll be accepted.  This can be exhausting!

We’ll agree to do things we know we don’t want to do, just so someone won’t think ill of us.  We’ll go WAY out of our way to please others for fear of what they’ll think if we don’t. This assumption and worry over people judging us leads to a sense of never being able to measure up.  It’s just not realistic to think that you’re going to do everything perfectly so that no one will judge.

Unfortunately, once people realize they can’t always win, many tend to shrink a little.  They don’t try things for fear of doing them incorrectly.  They don’t speak up and honor how they really feel for fear of offending.

But all of this is not stepping boldly into who you truly are.  It only allows you to share pieces of yourself with those around you.  To have a truly meaningful relationship, you need to be able to share your whole self.

So here’s some great relationship advice when it comes to assuming others will judge you… Let it go!  Accept that some people WILL judge you.  There’s nothing you can do with that.  Be honest with yourself and know what your true motives are for doing or not doing something.  As long as you are content with your choices, then letting go of worries what others think will be easier.

Your Vibrantly Live Challenge:  What scenarios are you most likely to worry what other’s think and assume they’ll judge you?  I want to encourage you to go through the process I just shared.  Get real clear on your motives.  Are they positive?  Do they make sense to you?  Now take a minute and visualize yourself in that situation, making your honest choice with those motives in mind and how you would feel doing it.  See yourself as confident and able to truly connect with those who are important to you.

Be sure to share your relationship advice ideas below.  Until next time – get out there and vibrantly live!  Bye!