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Woman Smiling
Woman Smiling

How Do I Get Peace of Mind in Relationships?

As women, we love relationships!  But how often do you find yourself asking “How do I get peace of mind in relationships?”  I mean, they can cause our greatest joys and our greatest heartbreaks!  It can be quite a roller coaster if we’re not careful.  Today, I’d like to share a simple process for keeping your sanity with the more “difficult to get along with” variety of relationships…

How Do I Get Peace of Mind in Relationships Tip #1:

Accept that your way of looking at things is only one perspective.  It’s real easy for us to get locked into our belief and refuse to see the world from another vantage point.  We make assumptions about why people do things every day that may be totally off base!  Just because someone gives you a dirty look, doesn’t mean they’re mad at you.  Perhaps the sun with in his/her eyes.  Maybe his/her stomach was hurting!!  You just don’t KNOW unless you’ve outright asked.

How Do I Get Peace of Mind in Relationships Tip #2:

Acknowledge the elephant in the room.  If you feel a relationship is heading south quick, don’t just ignore it!  Putting your head in the sand isn’t going to fix anything here.  You need to tactfully address the situation.  You have a perspective.  You have a gut feeling.  Now, you need to check in with the other person to see if your assumptions are correct or if you’ve misunderstood what’s going on.

Call me old fashioned, but this is why I hate people texting long conversations.  There’s NO context.  You don’t know if someone’s comment was sarcastic, teasing, meant to be funny or downright rude.  Instead, you’ll make your assumption and run with it.  If you’re not sure – ASK!

How Do I Get Peace of Mind in Relationships Tip #3:

Let them know what you need.  If someone has hurt your feelings, how do you want that interaction to change?  What do you need instead?  Can your needs be met by this person, or do you need to be meeting them, yourself, first?

A perfect example is the trap that we women tend to put our guys into when we ask them if some item of clothing looks good on us?  Rarely are we wanting an honest answer.  We’re “fishing” for a compliment and reinforcement that they find us attractive because we’re doubting ourselves.  First, you need to meet that need yourself.  If you don’t feel attractive, then what can you do to feel better about yourself.  If you need more reinforcement, then flat out let them know, don’t “fish”.

Now, I know – not everyone is going to positively respond to these 3 techniques if you try to use them.  Some people are going to get defensive.  In those situations, you need to honestly look at what types of boundaries may need to be set around those relationships to keep them balanced and healthy for you.

Be sure to check back in, as I’ll be discussing more in depth aspects of developing more meaningful relationships all this month.  I want to help you feel confident in answering that daunting question of “How do I get peace of mind in relationships?”

Here are some helpful questions to think about – Which of these 3 steps is the most difficult for you?  Why do you think that is?  Be sure to answer those below in the comments section.