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Woman Smiling
Woman Smiling

How to Build Confidence? Become it!

We’re continuing our discussion of successful ways to achieve what’s truly important to you.  Rather than just focusing on set tasks and trying to push your way through, I’ve been sharing the importance of being a different you prior to starting the tasks.  This week, I want to talk about confidence.  It’s essential if you’re going to succeed at a new endeavor.  But – I can see the quizzical look on your face right now, as you’re wondering, how to build confidence?  Isn’t just an innate characteristic?  No!  Not even close!  C’mon let me show you…

 

How to Build Confidence – Tip #1
 
Understand that confidence can vary day by day.  A little variation is normal, but if left unchecked you can have wide ranging feelings that are ineffective.  A snide comment or a hair out of place can cause some to want to go crawl into a corner rather than step out in faith toward their true desires.  It’s important to recognize what those negative triggers are for you.
 
How to Build Confidence – Tip #2
 
Get used to acting in spite of how you’re feeling.  No one feels confident about a new action the first time they do it!  Take a second and remember back to the day you left the hospital with your oldest child.  Were you completely confident that you knew EXACTLY what to do to take care of this child?  Sure you didn’t!  But did that cause you to tell the nurses; “I’ve decided to just leave the baby here rather than take him/her home with me”?  Absolutely not!  You muddled through, made some mistakes, and your confidence grew over time with practice.
 
How to Build Confidence – Tip #3
 
Become comfortable with being uncomfortable.  All of us like to feel like we know what we’re doing, but if you’re going to make some changes and begin doing something new, it will feel awkward and uncomfortable.  Acknowledge that now – before you begin.  And make the commitment to yourself, that you’ll continue working toward what’s truly important to you even if you make a mistake or if it’s uncomfortable.
 
You see, the deep dark secret no one tells you about confidence is that it isn’t something you’re just born with.  It’s something you earn.  It’s earned by making a decision, and then acting on that decision.  For example, I wanted to feel more confident in my public speaking skills.  I knew I was good at conveying information to large groups (because I’d received a lot of feedback about that), but it wasn’t comfortable for me.  So, I made sure I did more public speaking.  This started off with joining a local Toastmasters Club so I could get effective feedback and skills and then it led to me reaching out to organizations in order to go and speak to their groups.  I didn’t just wake up feeling confident.  I made the decision it was important and then I focused on how I could become the thing I wanted.
 
Your Vibrantly Live Challenge:  How ‘bout you?  Take a minute and think about your level of confidence in various areas of your life.  Choose the one that’s most important to you.  Now, how can you use those 3 tips I shared:
 
Understand confidence can vary day by day
Get used to acting in spite of how you’re feeling
Become comfortable with being uncomfortable
 
to help you become more confident.  Remember to focus on the inner work first, and then the actions!
 
Be sure to share what you came up with below.  Until next time – get out there and vibrantly live!  Bye!