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Woman Smiling
Woman Smiling

How to Find Happiness: Resentful? Who, Me?

Resentment.  It’s such an ugly word.  You  don’t usually think of it when considering how to find happiness!  But it’s critical to the process!  Let me show you how…

What causes resentment?  Feeling taken advantage of!  As moms, this could be considered a daily occurrence if we’re not in the right frame of mind.  We spend each and every day helping others and giving of ourselves.  It’s so easy to fall into the “What about me?” trap!

What does that thinking tell us about how to find happiness though?  It should be a red flag to let us know we’re in a danger zone.  If we’re feeling taken advantage of, then we need to clearly acknowledge those feelings and determine where they’re coming from.  They’re an indication that something needs to change and change soon!

Do I need to set boundaries?

Have you been busy playing lead in the martyr role for your family?  If so, perhaps you need to take a clear look and re-evaluate what you’ve been doing.  A very wise person told me once, “People will always treat you the way you allow them to.”  Take a minute and think about that one.  Let it REALLY sink in.

  • Is your husband not thanking you for making dinner?  Have you asked him to?
  • Are your kids leaving their toys everywhere?  Have you made it clear they are to be picked up?
  • Are you running kids in different directions every night?  Did you ask anyone to help you?

These can be hard truths to swallow.  Trust me, I understand it may take more than just a comment!  Some serious behavioral changes may be in order, but at least broaching the subject gets the ball rolling when you’re wondering how to find happiness.

Have I been neglecting myself?

The other direction to look is inward.  When you’re giving all day long, you need to see it like a pitcher of water.  Every time you give, you’re pouring into someone else.  Eventually that pitcher’s gonna be empty if you don’t take the time to fill it back up.  Do you know what a bone dry pitcher gets you?  Yep, you guessed it – resentment!

That filling up process looks different for everyone.  But you’ve got to understand the concept.  The old standby of “There’s just too much to do for me to sit down” is a trap.  If you’re empty, you become bitter, resentful and you’re not able to give to your loved ones like you want to.

So the next time you notice resentment, it’s time to start asking yourself how to find happiness!  What are your resentment indicators?